Sex in a committed relationship is one of the most glorifying things one could experience. The feelings and love shared between two people in that moment can be unbelievably gratifying. On the other hand, many would love to argue that making love is something different. I’d humbly beg to differ. Just because you put music and candles behind the slow, sweaty thrust and dancing pelvises does not make the result any different. Let’s be real, if both parties reach climax, then the deed is done. And then there’s the F word. Sex is exciting when its quick and hot and dangerous, hoping you don’t get caught in the wrong place at the wrong time, sometimes even with the wrong person. Many things are involved in having one of the best sexual encounters you could think of. Here’s a few. Kissing is one of the most intimate parts of sex. It opens the door for those manly muscles to harden and those womanly flowers to bloom. But kissing doesn’t stop at the mouth. Great kissing moves from forehead to nose, to lips, to neck, to chest and slowly or aggressively to the southern regions. This goes for both men and women. Then there’s one’s backside, the shoulders the little indention between lower back and bottom. It opens your mind and sometimes causing you to sweat and hopelessly anticipate what’s to come next. Then there’s oral sex. Before someone gets the confidence to embark on that journey of using their mouth to please, they must first be willing to take direction. There is an art to pleasing someone with your mouth. It requires patience, the desire to actually do it and sometimes it can be very time consuming, whether you’re trying to help your partner reach climax or you’re just warming them up. Many women can be shy, believing that its nasty or tiring and sometimes its because the man isn’t guiding them, expressing what feels good and what doesn’t. They go into it thinking the woman is just supposed to know. Don’t get me wrong, some women are just experts and some are completely clueless. Regardless of which woman you are, he should still communicate with you. The same thing goes for women. You can not expect a man to just know what feels good to you. He may very well act like he does, but you know your body better. Talk to him, guide him and above all don’t be shy. Be open with each other. It makes it all the more satisfactory. Hands and fingers can be extremely useful when preparing for sex. Two people have to be comfortable with allowing their partner to explore their body, feeling for those spots that make you shake and moan and cry for straddling or harsh penetration. (Let me wipe the sweat from my forehead). Don’t be afraid to use your hands and fingers to find out what makes your partner squirm with satisfaction, making them express their enjoyment with wrinkled eyebrows and biting lips. It’ll turn not only them on but you as well. And then there’s the actual sex. Long sex, short sex, and quickies can all be satisfying as long and you and your partner understand each other. Whether you like long strokes, quick and short strokes or somewhere in between, you have to be comfortable and willing to perform to the best of your ability. Nobody likes a lazy person in bed. Trying numerous positions is mandatory. The same old three positions, missionary, cowgirl and doggy style can get mighty boring especially for the man. Sex doesn’t have to always be slow and sensual. It can be hard and rough with hair pulling, biting, and even mild choking (for some couples). Not everyone is into that. But hey, to each his own. Talk to each other. The man doesn’t always have to initiate it. Women can demand it as well. Men like that shit. Again, the goal is any sexual encounter is to reach climax; to exhale a breath of unbelievable satisfaction, feeling the beads of sweat dripping down your forehead or chest. Its a beautiful thing. So, sex, making love and the F word are all the same thing because you’re trying to reach one big conclusion. Orgasm. I’ll talk about faking it in my next post. For now, go turn off the TV, put the kids to bed, if you have them, and go sex the breath and energy out of your partner.