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We Accept the Love We Think We Deserve

Many people believe that if you suffer through love, it has to be real, because “love hurts.” Have you ever thought that real love heals? Real love inspires. Real love is sacrificial. Real love does not hurt. It does not leave you lying wide awake at night wondering if it’s all worth it. In a relationship, each person exudes behavior they believe their partner will put up with whether its positive or negative behavior. For example, if a woman takes back a cheating man more than once (yes I said more than once), he most likely will believe she’s accepting that behavior and he won’t see the sense in changing. However, if he cheats once and she takes him back and he cheats again, and she leaves, she’s showing what she believes she’s worth; sympathetic to a horrible mistake but refusing to allow consistent apologies for the same one. This does not mean cheating isn’t wrong. It means that someone will only take advantage of a person who loves them wherever they see the opportunity. A forgiving woman can be very dangerous is a relationship with a man who continues to do the same thing he has to apologize for and the same thing goes for a man being too forgiving with a woman who belittles him in front of his friends; challenging his every opinion causing him to question whether or not he wants to even bring her around family or friends. Sometimes people are so insecure in their relationships that they don’t even realize their own self worth. I personally have been told by women that as long as your man is coming home to you at night, you should have nothing to complain about. As a woman, I should be lucky that he’s coming home. I’ll humbly beg to differ. If him coming home is all you need to validate his love and respect for you, my friend, you have a lot to learn. There are too many women settling for the man who spends all day and night out, coming home to a dark bedroom, with only the light from the television beaming on her anger stricken face. She’s angry because she hasn’t seen or really heard from him all day, but satisfied because he came home. She’s angry because she’s cleaned the entire house, worked 6-8 hours, cooked him a meal and the last things he said to her that day were, “See you later” and “Goodnight,” but satisfied because he came home. Understand, a man can come home to the same woman every night and still not love her. There’s no other way to put it. You are not special because he comes home at night. People blindly fall victim to relationships where they’re not typically happy but “grateful” for the actual relationship and “content” with the simple fact that they’re not single. The behavior someone puts up with in their relationship is a reflection of what they think about themselves. If you are only willing to be with someone who understands that in order to love you the right way, they must respect, honor and cherish your being in their life, as will you, embrace that attitude. Stay true to your self respect. Do not accept what someone else believes you deserve. Never settle for a relationship where you still feel lonely. Accept what you know you’re worth and if you don’t believe its much right now, then wait to fall in love with someone. Fall in love with yourself first. You may not be able to control how someone behaves, but you can control what you accept. Always remember, the love you accept is the love you believe you deserve.

4 thoughts on “We Accept the Love We Think We Deserve”

  1. Depends on the distance and the people involved. I personally don't believe in them unless the couple is already married and their jobs require them to be apart for a while. I don't think two people can successfully have a relationship if they're technically not together in the same city/town.

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  2. OK, how about this! My guy and I been knowing each other for thirty years, but we been together for six months. I stay in Chicago, and he stays in Memphis. That love is still there since we were teens.

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  3. I guess the important thing now is, how far are you expecting this relationship to go? Is he in Memphis on business or is that his permanent living situation? And vice versa. How often do you all speak? How often do you see each other (not counting face time)? What is the trust level like? All of that plays a part. I hate being away from my mate for more than 12 hours. That may seem weird, but to me so does long distance love.

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